10/10
more later when it's not 5am
Monday, October 25, 2010
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
ah; star wars. something that really takes me back to my childhood.
there was nothing i enjoyed more than putting "return of the jedi" into the vcr and watching it on repeat for months at a time. the world was a good and righteous place back then; jedi were still renowned for their hardcore talents and spiffy haircuts.
the force unleashed did an excellent job bringing me back to that golden era of star wars greatness which existed long before the travesties of the diluted prelude trilogy.
set between episodes 3 and 4 [that's revenge of the sith and a new hope, kids], this game explains 2 important sublet realities that do or could occur. one explains the events of the star wars original saga to a perfect degree and also adds much depth to the storyline; the other turns everything into shit; but in a totally good way.
[evil will always triumph, because good is dumb]
alright so i'm not here to spoil the story for you. let's see, what did i think about the game...
I actually thought it was pretty bad. the platforming was incredibly annoying. also the higher difficulty seemed to only make me die faster rather than provide any actual challenge beyond raging. a quarter through the game i switched to the dark side...
GIVE SQUILRELMAN A BRAKE! I HAD SHIT TO DO!
I'M A STORYLINE KINDA GUY, DAMMIT!
LEAVE ME ALONE!
i know, you're probably thinking i have no credibility as a squirrel jedi gamer. your ruse disturbs me, sir.
if you are the kind of person that likes to practice in a single player game, more power to you friend. i personally like to take my single player games to the head; one night, one sitting, one adventure. don't make me practice how to kick the shit out of things, just let me do it!
the game was pretty unforgiving when it came to execution. i do have to say that i don't believe i fully grasped onto how the lightsaber battles worked, nor did i care to discover how to properly duel with a saber blade after the 572nd try against the second boss. by the time i reached the halfway mark i had fully embraced my hatred. the force was flowing strong through me fueled by my anger, aggression, and suffering.
but then, like a glimpse of the sun through the stormy sky, i reached the final stage.
my rage built and built as i continued to fall from platforms; forced to climb back up countless times toward nondescript areas as my camera refused to switch to "action mode." i had developed a strong bond with the force, attacking enemies without ever seeing them as my shitty camera angle had programmed me to do. i was more machine than man, then.
finally...vader.
oh come on, i didn't spoil anything!
you knew you were going to have to fight vader!
ok well let's just end it like this before i end up spoiling more.
i turned out to be a jedi afterall.
Overview:
gameplay-
5.5/10
while not the worst game, SWTFU had terrible camera angles, annoying platforming, and overall dull AI. many of the enemies were quite cheap, such as the snipers and rocket troopers. the force powers and lightsaber fighting was quite fun, but battles with jedi proved that either i had no skills whatsoever or that dueling a jedi was a really bad mistake. the npc's were overused and boring after a short time.
story-
10/10
captivating, interesting, and far enough from any tangible thought that you probably never would have thought it up yourself. if there's one thing you can count on lucasarts providing it's a great storyline. [full throttle and the dig are my references for this last statement]
replay value-
2/10
unless i really want to piss myself off i will never play this game again. while the story is great, i'd much rather watch a cinema piece or read a book. the annoyance between the main story arcs was enough to drive me into insanity once or twice. never again [most likely].
dlc-
10/10
as far as DLC goes SWTFU gets it's only 10/10. 3 new missions are added to the game which simply extrapolate on events occurring after the ending[s]. one brings about a very interesting prospect involving one LUKE SKYWALKER; the other sends Starkiller, our previously unnamed protagonist, deeper into the dark forces within himself.
fun-factor-
2/10
like i said before, i would rather read this story in a book or watch it in a theater than have to drone through the drivel that consisted of the better part of this game. you should feel captivated and inspired by games, not sent into a psychotic rage where you contemplate the strength of the fan switches and wonder which speed your body would look the coolest spinning.
total=
5.9/10
it's totally worth a play, but only one.
STAR WARS THE FORCE UNLEASHED 2's release date is set for Octboer 26, 2010. be sure to at least check out a youtube recap of the SWTFU storyline before you picking up SWTFU2! and here's to me praying that this one will have much less annoying platforming.
there was nothing i enjoyed more than putting "return of the jedi" into the vcr and watching it on repeat for months at a time. the world was a good and righteous place back then; jedi were still renowned for their hardcore talents and spiffy haircuts.
the force unleashed did an excellent job bringing me back to that golden era of star wars greatness which existed long before the travesties of the diluted prelude trilogy.
set between episodes 3 and 4 [that's revenge of the sith and a new hope, kids], this game explains 2 important sublet realities that do or could occur. one explains the events of the star wars original saga to a perfect degree and also adds much depth to the storyline; the other turns everything into shit; but in a totally good way.
[evil will always triumph, because good is dumb]
alright so i'm not here to spoil the story for you. let's see, what did i think about the game...
I actually thought it was pretty bad. the platforming was incredibly annoying. also the higher difficulty seemed to only make me die faster rather than provide any actual challenge beyond raging. a quarter through the game i switched to the dark side...
GIVE SQUILRELMAN A BRAKE! I HAD SHIT TO DO!
I'M A STORYLINE KINDA GUY, DAMMIT!
LEAVE ME ALONE!
i know, you're probably thinking i have no credibility as a squirrel jedi gamer. your ruse disturbs me, sir.
if you are the kind of person that likes to practice in a single player game, more power to you friend. i personally like to take my single player games to the head; one night, one sitting, one adventure. don't make me practice how to kick the shit out of things, just let me do it!
the game was pretty unforgiving when it came to execution. i do have to say that i don't believe i fully grasped onto how the lightsaber battles worked, nor did i care to discover how to properly duel with a saber blade after the 572nd try against the second boss. by the time i reached the halfway mark i had fully embraced my hatred. the force was flowing strong through me fueled by my anger, aggression, and suffering.
but then, like a glimpse of the sun through the stormy sky, i reached the final stage.
my rage built and built as i continued to fall from platforms; forced to climb back up countless times toward nondescript areas as my camera refused to switch to "action mode." i had developed a strong bond with the force, attacking enemies without ever seeing them as my shitty camera angle had programmed me to do. i was more machine than man, then.
finally...vader.
oh come on, i didn't spoil anything!
you knew you were going to have to fight vader!
ok well let's just end it like this before i end up spoiling more.
i turned out to be a jedi afterall.
Overview:
gameplay-
5.5/10
while not the worst game, SWTFU had terrible camera angles, annoying platforming, and overall dull AI. many of the enemies were quite cheap, such as the snipers and rocket troopers. the force powers and lightsaber fighting was quite fun, but battles with jedi proved that either i had no skills whatsoever or that dueling a jedi was a really bad mistake. the npc's were overused and boring after a short time.
story-
10/10
captivating, interesting, and far enough from any tangible thought that you probably never would have thought it up yourself. if there's one thing you can count on lucasarts providing it's a great storyline. [full throttle and the dig are my references for this last statement]
replay value-
2/10
unless i really want to piss myself off i will never play this game again. while the story is great, i'd much rather watch a cinema piece or read a book. the annoyance between the main story arcs was enough to drive me into insanity once or twice. never again [most likely].
dlc-
10/10
as far as DLC goes SWTFU gets it's only 10/10. 3 new missions are added to the game which simply extrapolate on events occurring after the ending[s]. one brings about a very interesting prospect involving one LUKE SKYWALKER; the other sends Starkiller, our previously unnamed protagonist, deeper into the dark forces within himself.
fun-factor-
2/10
like i said before, i would rather read this story in a book or watch it in a theater than have to drone through the drivel that consisted of the better part of this game. you should feel captivated and inspired by games, not sent into a psychotic rage where you contemplate the strength of the fan switches and wonder which speed your body would look the coolest spinning.
total=
5.9/10
it's totally worth a play, but only one.
STAR WARS THE FORCE UNLEASHED 2's release date is set for Octboer 26, 2010. be sure to at least check out a youtube recap of the SWTFU storyline before you picking up SWTFU2! and here's to me praying that this one will have much less annoying platforming.
squirellman's blowtorch
hi fans and welcome to the show.
i am infact the SQUIreleMAN and i will be taking you through the world of video games.
who i am? well i'm SQUIRRLEMAN! can't you read?
I am a gamer from long ago who has traveled through the fourth dimension to give honest opinions on hot new games...
and hot new waitresses; mrowsers
i hope you enjoy this, or at least get some simple pleasure from reading these lovely blogs.
hands on the keyboards, gentlemen.
i am infact the SQUIreleMAN and i will be taking you through the world of video games.
who i am? well i'm SQUIRRLEMAN! can't you read?
I am a gamer from long ago who has traveled through the fourth dimension to give honest opinions on hot new games...
and hot new waitresses; mrowsers
i hope you enjoy this, or at least get some simple pleasure from reading these lovely blogs.
hands on the keyboards, gentlemen.
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